30-03-21

I have always been accused of being 'too nice'.
Too forgiving. Too much a doormat.
Only what my accusers hardly understand is compassion.
I have a policy: Meet people where they are at.
Indeed, sometimes it has served me.
Sometimes I have been taken advantage of.
Sometimes there reciprocity.
Sometimes it's a dead end.
Knowing and learning, being able to recognize the signs.
Developing discernment, seeing the truth of people, and seeing the truth of myself.
I choose how I respond, nowadays.
The days of reacting unconsciously, or by route are long gone...

29-03-21

No response, is a response.
Learn to grey rock that narcissist.
Learn to ignore and not react to those flying monkeys.
They will try to get an emotional, upsetting reaction. Don't allow it.
Letting go and going 'no contact' is the BEST gift You can give yourself when
Escaping an abuser and narcissist.
Being able to de-intensify that toxicity and anxiety ultimately equips You with the key tool
to begin assigning your energy back to You.
Be sure to have a support system.
Be sure to get counselling.
By ignoring their behaviour, their energy, their antics
You set yourself free...

28-03-21

There are no coincidences.
The people that we love and involve ourselves with share a similar dynamic to our family of origin.
Once we recognize this pattern, we can make different choices.
Wiser choices.
Letting go, and better boundaries.
Assertiveness, silence, growth mindset and loving detachment.
I for decades unconsciously recreated and attracted the familiar.
Until I learned. Now I do better... (and suffer less!)

27-03-21

Lived experince is the best bar of measure as You progress.
It's so easy to get trapped in the past
Loop that volatile argument in your mind
Tune into the sound of your inner censor
It may be time to change the frequency of such things.
Part of it might be the monkey mind
Part of it might be the echo of the abuser's voice
Moving through all of that negativity is key.
We are what we do
What we think
We are the stories and the lies we tell ourselves.
Focus on the joy if You can. Journal daily. Perhaps a yoga practice?
We cannot change the past. Best to reframe those events and develop a new narratvie...

26-03-21

It's so easy to be overwhelmed.
Social media, politics, the pandemic.
How You manage your emotions matters most.
You must do whatever You need to do to cope.
Exercise, rest, reading, watching movies, dancing, meditation might work.
Baking, singing, listening to music, podcasts, an online course might work.
Sitting in sunlight, quiet, working in the garden, snuggling a loved one or pet
There is much to learn about yourself during times like these.
Be a good and loving friend to yourself every moment everyday.
And don't forget to schedule a bubble bath to help soothe your soul...

25-03-21

This is so true.
There are so many agendas on the table.
Entitlement, racism, and other negative pervasive attributes in others.
There are damaged souls walking wounded among us.
There are angry souls bent on revenge and blame.
It's a form of self sabotage to make decisions from that place.
Forgiveness, awareness and compassion combined with discernment in equal measure
As well as the ability to love will help You heal and detach from that which makes You suffer.
Especially if it's other people.
Limit your exposure if You can...

24-03-21

Yes, re-invent yourself. Evolve...
As I make my way into my sixth decade, I have to marvel at how far I have come.
How about You?
Are You able to reflect upon where You have been
And more importantly, Who You have been?
All the roles, the versions, the incarnations all there
Some smiling back at You, some sobbing with memory and grief
We need to find our way back
Back to Who we are meant to be before that connection was obstructed by life...

23-03-21

This one really makes me think.
As someone who has had to re-invent herself more than once, I so agree.
The demands of having a growth mindset and surviving life's turbulance is challenging.
You can stop being everything to everybody
And be who You are meant to be.
We are in a constant state of flux and learning the best way to navigate this journey
Mindfully, consciously and positively will benefit You greatly.
Everything we know is preparing us fo this moment.
Choose wisely...
Let go.

22-03-21

It's easy to believe the others
It's easy to be manipulated and lied to if You are unaware of it happening.
Some have stronger arguments
Some lead You down an alternate path
Only You can know for sure what makes sense to You
Deduction, critical thinking and common sense need to be daily habits
Practice the art of discernment
It can save You the grief of suffering fools gladly...

21-03-21

This one can be tricky if You are not in the habit of being grounded emotionally.
Being in tune with your feelings and being able to express and feel them appropriately can be a life long process.
Once we have overcome some of the damage and tragedy of the past
Once we have been able to do the personal work and heal
Once we are able to have stronger boundaries with others
Once we have eliminated the toxic, and abusive relationships that have been a constant distraction to our own feeling
Once we recoup that elusive sense of wholeness we may have been living without,
Will we able to make the distinction between what is mine in that moment, and what is really going on...

20-03-21

The critics, your ex lovers, your enemies would have You believe otherwise.
That garden variety narcissist who was your friend, your toxic boss, your angry sibling
May believe this too.
Those that criticize and judge are not to be trusted, let alone be listened too.
I was raised in an atomsphere that deemed me to be the 'most stupid' and the 'most uesless' of my siblings.
Sure, showed them...

19-03-21

Yes. I have been surrounded by idiots at times.
Damaged souls.
Angry addicts.
Those determined to self sabotage.
We can only help them, and ourselves by letting go.
Yes, I too have been brainwashed by the myth of 'potential'.
Disappointing to know, it never arrives.
All we can do is learn to be our best selves, despite the others.
There is freedom in being drama-free. (It's easier to read, when there is quiet).
The less chaos, the better it is to be true to yourself.
You can't help them.
They, like me, need to learn their life lessons by their choices...

18-03-21

Yes, this is life.
So many things, no one told You about.
We experience based on our perceptions, state of mind and level of self healed wholeness.
Finding our way out of devastating emotions, loss and events
Are all part and parcel of this miracle existence.
Best to continue to grow.
Continue to heal. Continue to learn.
Be your own witness.
Live from your highest self.
And love deeply as You make your way to You...

17-03-21

Every so often, those damaging voices from the past return.
With CPTSD, flashbacks, nightmares and triggers when they occur, can be paralyzing.
Journalling has always helped me listen to myself.
They are many challenges to overcome as we grow.
Healing and feeling are seemingly mutually exclusive.
What You do with what has happened to You
Fuels the Muse, or leaves You lingering in bed as the anxiety takes hold.
Revisiting the past conjures up all the imagery and feelings of that time then, so
Be gentle with yourself. Meditate. Exercise. Get enough rest.
You are safe. You made it out then. Make time to grieve.
You can make it out now by feeling those emotions in a capacity that promotes your own healing and sense of thrival...

16-03-21

Be your own Mentor.
Heal and do the personal work of reparenting your inner child.
If we are to be our own coach, we can achieve our plans to build our best life.
This is the 24/7 relationship that will allow You to blossom
Yu get to map out where You want to go
With whom
And how
Choose wisely as You go that route
And love deeply whenever and however You can...

15-03-21

You can be your own best friend, or worst enemy based on your relationship with yourself.
It can take decades to build up that trust that may have been ripped away due to bad choices, tragedy, difficult circumstances, and/or abusive relationships.
Working your way through all of that, winding up here is exceptional.
Designing a life that works for You is key.
We need not be who others want us to be.
Make the decisions that will benefit You, bring You joy
And find peace to make up for all that lost time being everything to everyone...

14-03-21

Just one of the ways that makes me different from others
It's not about dog eat dog, or ever increasing profits, or ruining others to get what You want.
We see these themes played out over and over
Kindness and compassion
I prefer it to the 'get it all at any cost' mindset.
I have seen manipulations and machinations aimed at the betterment of the manager's bottom line
And all it does is expose those that continually use others at their expense to justify a means.
Don't gt me wrong. Targets and goals are useful, as is some risk.
Unfortunately, I have seen and been on the receiving end of selfish agendas that neither reward or appreciate the efforts of others.
Even more so nowadays when the ones with power are so corrupt and driven, that they bulldoze the good hearted...

13-03-21

Why not be kinder to yourself?
Why not be your own best friend?
The dialogue we have with ourselves may be punitive.
It may be judgmental.
It may be running the tapes on repeat of someone else's cruelty.
We must talk to ourselves lovingly and in the way we wish others would speak to us.
It took me DECADES to get the abusive messages from my childhood out of my head.
So, let me tell You.
It can be done...

12-03-21

I totally agree that this can be done.
As someone who survived a horribly abusive childhood, had my fair share of bad relationships, letting go of some of those others is absolutely the only way.
You can not possibly find yourself in all the chaos that comes from too much over exposure to toxic situations, emotionally and physically abusive family members and the narcissist or sociopath from next door (or that one You might just love).
Change is hard.
Yet so is life.
Choose wisely for your own peace of mind.
With stability comes freedom and that is the best place from which to heal and launch yourself from...

11-03-21

Being listened to is a key component to our healing.
That is why so many of us pay to go to therapy.
A compassionate friend, someone who will hold space for You is crucial and I believe to be so important as we move forward and build trust.
Healing from trauma, CPTSD and PTSD
And being shushed for years,
I can tell You from experience just how important this form of validation is to helping build self esteem and working towards healing all the pain from the past abuse that interfered with living joyfully and fully...

10-03-21

As much as I'd like to pay attention to everything that's going on; that would in itself be a full-time job.
I simply cannot have an opinion about all that occurs.
I simply cannot have discourse on every issue
Every happenstance that occurs in bad faith
Every asshole manuever by that politician
Every complaint in the timeline
Every whine in the feed.
All I can do id be the Noticer
Practice detached loving observation
And carry on in building a better life for myself. You?
Can You avert thine eyes?

09-03-21

Empower yourself.
You get to choose.
You create your own reality
By what You choose to believe
By what You choose to allow and
By what You tell yourself about those choices...

08-03-21

Perfectionism leads to self sabotage, which in turn causes one to burn-out fast.
Someone elses standards are not your own.
That voice in your head telling You to do more at the expense of now most likely originated from your toxic narcissist.
You need not have to pay attention to that.
Those tapes, that monkey mind, it delays learning to trust your own intuition.
Listen carefully
Your Soul is trying to reach You
Amidst all that noise...

07-03-21

There is time.
All this over-thinking and rushing about detracts from your purposeful existance and reduces your days to multitasking life like an automoton.
Be present to the now.
Don't forget to rest amongst all the brainstorming
All that stress.
You have time.
Plotting what comes next should not arrive at the cost of your mental health...

06-03-21

When You limit your exposure to toxic people, You do yourself a huge favour.
I'd rather have someone that hypes me up,
Loves and supports me
Encourages and celebrates ideating
Is respectful and kind
Those other angry, trolling, know-it-alls have no place in my sphere of influence.
That includes the resident narcissists, the punitive family members, the one that just betrayed You...
Keep like minded individuals in your immediate world that possess uplifting energy, if You can.
Opinions are like assholes
Everyone has one...

05-03-21

Your mind is a magnet.
Be cognizant of what You think
For it matters greatly...

04-03-21

If You knew what he did to me, would You still be friends with us both?
I have been on the receiving end of some unspeakable things.
It is not my habit to blab about my personal experiences nor use social media as a diary (some do).
As a result of some very unkind and toxic behaviours, I let go.
There are things that are forgivable, being a human being.
And, there is covert narcissism, using flying monkeys to manipulate further and that, crosses the line.
Abuse is abuse.
As pain is pain.
Knowing makes all the difference.
Now that I know better, I do better.
So believe what You will, what they tell You happened
All I know is that
Unacceptable tactics disguised as love, are not for me...

03-03-21

If You could track all the synchronicities of your life and find a pattern
Just what would that pattern reveal?
Things come and go
People, places, projects
Also come and go.
Don't despair
There is a constant.
Look at how much creativity was there, then
Remember the energy and excitement of making that happen
Follow that map, by reverse engineering what was and using what is to move forward...

02-03-21

It's so easy to get caught up in what 'should have been'.
The trajectory of my life hs been upended dozens of times.
We made plans.
We had dreams.
We waited til the time was right, although that never arrived.
When I wanted more,
You wanted less.
Never on the same page, with different priorities.
Sometimes what we wanted to last didn't
And who I wanted to stay, left.
Turn the page.
Find the like-minded and
Begin again...

01-03-21

Perception is everything.
How You see what is occurring is the place You will make every other decision based on.
Life is challenging.
People are complicated.
Tragedy will show up.
Realize that yes, it is all happening.
To You? Or for You?
Expect tha worst, and it will arrive.
Expect the unexpected, and see what happens next...